Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me everything I did.  Could this be the Messiah?”  They came out and made their way toward him. … Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.” – John 4:28-30, 39

For years, when our children were small, my family traveled from Waco to Dallas to attend church.  That may sound a little nutty to most of you since there is a church on every corner here in Waco, but it was (and sometimes still is) very difficult to find a Baptist Church here in Waco that is as concerned about Jesus in the community as it is in Baylor in the community…But that’s a different story for a different day.

Almost every Sunday at our church in Dallas, after the service was over, I felt like the preacher had been following me around all week and prepared his sermons based what he saw during the week while tailing me.  I still feel that way when we go back and visit.  In all reality, Bro. Glenn didn’t have time to be following me around.  He had much better things to do with his time.  But the Holy Spirit was with me and also with him and although I am sure Bro Glenn was not picking on me in particular, God used his sermons to convict me of my sin and to work change in my life.

Conviction of our sin is one of the Holy Spirit’s jobs.  Not condemnation – but conviction.  He wants to bring us to agreement with Him about our sin and He will use many different avenues to bring us to the reality that there is something in our lives that needs confession and correction.

It has been a while since I have felt that level of conviction from a sermon but recently God has used several pastors to speak to me about my life and the sin I am so easily entangled in.  I recently heard a sermon from Luke 6 about Jesus healing the man with the shriveled hand on the Sabbath.  The preacher pointed out that present for that event were three groups of people – Jesus, who came to the synagogue that day to heal; the man with the shriveled hand who likely came to be healed; and the Pharisees who came to accuse, criticize and trap Jesus.  Most Sundays we all fall into one of those three categories.  We are there to help heal someone one by our words, encouragement, teaching and support; we are there to be healed – maybe not physically but spiritually or emotionally; or we are there to criticize, judge and accuse.  I have been all three at one time or another.  While listening to this sermon, I was greatly convicted about that last one.  I don’t want to be that Christian – not ever again.  I want to heal and be healed – I don’t want to contribute to anyone’s pain and I certainly don’t want to plot against Jesus like the Pharisees did that day.

Forgive me Lord for disappointing you, complaining about your messengers, and stirring up any form of dissension.  Thank you for continuing to use many to refine me and make me more like your Son.  Open my eyes to see my shortcomings – open the eyes of anyone reading this to show them where they fall short.  May we come together in your House to heal and to be healed.  Amen.

SATURDAY - THE DAY BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH - a few thoughts from Carla Thomas

Saturday.  The day between Friday and Sunday.  The day we most look forward to each week of our lives. We all have grand plans for Saturday – to get out and do things we can’t do during the week – to enjoy life without the cares of work. 

But it is also the day between death and life.  The One they had put all their hopes and dreams in was buried in a tomb.  A giant boulder was blocking the entrance – it was sealed with the mark of the Romans.  No one was going in – No one was coming out.  Dreams and plans shattered and dead in a tomb.

Imagine the disappointment.  Imagine the loss.  The eleven and more had spent the last three years dreaming of the day when His kingdom would come.  They had been taught for centuries that when the promised one came, that he would come and bring them back to greatness and save them from their captives like Moses.  That he would be a great warrior like David.  That his very presence would bring them peace and that his reign would be final.  They were banking on being a part of the grand victory and ruling for what they could see as forever.

They had dreamed of that day.  When the Romans would be cast out and they would be in charge and have the power.  But as it turned out, their leader was now in a tomb and they were in fear for their lives.  The dreams they had were shattered.  What they could perceive and see with their human minds and human eyes had come to a screeching halt and their hearts were broken.  Their spirits were broken.  All was lost on that Saturday and they hid in a secret room behind locked doors.  Afraid to move forward.

Isn’t that so much like us.  When what we perceive as humans – when what we see as humans – is broken and shattered by an evil, broken world our hearts and spirits are shattered and we hide in a locked room.  We retreat.  We cut ourselves off from the rest of the world and fear.

We have a great advantage over the eleven.  We know what happens next in the story.  We know that three days after His death, He walked out of that most securely sealed tomb – ALIVE – way more alive that you and I – ALIVE FOREVER.  He conquered DEATH.  FOREVER.

If He can do that, He can absolutely conquer our broken pieces.  All we have to do is take our eyes and hearts off what we can perceive and see and put them on Him and what He can see.  For He can see everything – He can see eternity.

Let’s quit locking ourselves in upper rooms when all goes wrong.  He knows the grand ending to the story and has promised that He has great plans for our future.  He is putting everything together for His glory and purposes for those who love Him and call Him LORD.  Trust Him – come out of your upper room and live again.  It’s Saturday – the day between death and life.  Prepare your heart for the grand celebration.  Life is here – Life in available NOW. 

Supporting Scripture:

John 19: 41-42 -- At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

Matthew 27:62-66 -- The next day, the one after Preparation Day, the chief priests and the Pharisees went to Pilate.  “Sir,” they said, “we remember that while he was still alive that deceiver said, ‘After three days I will rise again.’  So give the order for the tomb to be made secure until the third day. Otherwise, his disciples may come and steal the body and tell the people that he has been raised from the dead. This last deception will be worse than the first.”  “Take a guard,” Pilate answered. “Go, make the tomb as secure as you know how.” So they went and made the tomb secure by putting a seal on the stone and posting the guard.

Daniel 7:27 -- Then the sovereignty, power and greatness of all the kingdoms under heaven will be handed over to the holy people of the Most High. His kingdom will be an everlasting kingdom, and all rulers will worship and obey him.

John 20:19-20 -- On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

Ephesians 3:20-21 -- Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Philippians 2:12-13 -- Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Jeremiah 29:11-12 -- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Roman 8:28 -- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.

Last Night…

Our youth group has been going through a study on Biblical dating and last night they were given the opportunity to talk to a few couples in our church and hear about and ask questions about their dating and marriage relationships.  Our youth pastor chose to not include me and my husband; he said that our youth already knew our story and many had already sought us out for advice and therefore he chose other couples.  Even though we were not participating in the panel, we both attended.

During the question and answer time, my heart broke because I figured out that the reason we were not asked to participate might have been very different than what we were told; the reality that David and I would have been more the “Don’t” than the “Do” portion of the conversation was probably more likely the reason that we had been left off the panel. The couples chosen were all happily married – They all were perfect examples of positive, healthy dating relationships and marriages - one couple even said they had never gone through any tough times in their 39 years together.  All had met young, had healthy dating relationships, fell in love with each other, chose purity, married, some had children, and are now in the process of growing old together even though they ranged in age from fairly newlyweds to a couple married for 35 years.  

Our story is much different.  When we met, I was still married to another man and David was in a relationship with another woman.  David was not a believer; I was not living my beliefs at all.  David was into all manner of illegal activities and it didn’t take me long to choose my feelings for him over the wise thing to do in that situation – which was to run.  Last night the couples  talked about boundaries – we had none.  We were, I was, lost as a ball in high grass. 

My life was so far off track that I didn’t really even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror and David, in all fairness, had no idea at that point that he was lost.  We lived in this unhealthy state until my divorce was final and we then decided somewhere along the way to get married.  The realization that David and I have done almost everything in the “dating” and “marriage” arena not just poorly but flat out wrong is crushing.  While hearing the stories of the other couples last night, I felt so unworthy; not just compared to these other couples, but unworthy to even be in the position to give advice to these young people because nothing I did was right or good or worthy.   My heart was broken last night for what we weren’t… worthy  to tell our story.

But then this morning...

God spoke quietly to me and reminded me that He has made us worthy – in every way.  And that, like David and me, some of the young people in that room are going to choose the wrong road.  They are going to hear these wonderful stories of love and how it’s supposed to be and still make wrong choices in their own lives.  They are going to grow up in homes where the example of what a great marriage is supposed to look like is set before them like a perfect picture of God’s love, just like I did, and still make unwise, unhealthy choices in their own lives.

At some point, they are going to need to be told of and know the power of God’s love, forgiveness, and redemption.   I know that power.  I know of God’s forgiveness and redemption in a real and deep way.  I know the depth of despair that bad choices can land you in and I know the power of God’s love and restoration to make all things clean and white and pure again.  I know this because it is exactly what He has done in my life, my marriage and in my family.  He has redeemed what once was a horrible mess.   I know that when you lay your sin down at the cross, He (only He), can give life to what is dead.  I know that no matter my bad choices, because of the work He has done in my life – I am worthy – because He made me worthy. 

I am so in love with my Jesus.  I am so grateful that He didn’t leave me in the state He found me.  I am forever forgiven, forever loved, forever purified, forever worthy.

Just Wondering...

"With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!" James 3:10


My daughter used to (may still) ask her cursing friends, "Praise Jesus with that mouth?" when she heard foul language come out of their mouths. 

I've noticed lately that people can clean up their language and what they talk about when they are in a professional setting, or around their church friends, or with their parents; but God is listening (and reading what you type) all the time. And it's not just the words we use but what we're talking about that concerns Him. What makes the presence of certain people more important than the God of the Universe? Why would one work so hard to speak fine words around some people and not watch what they say the rest of the time?

Just wondering...

Unconditional Love Does Not Equal Total Agreement

Today I read an article written by Brice Cherry, sports writer for the Waco Tribune Herald, about Brittney Griner and her upcoming book “In My Skin”. A relative posted the article so I read it. In it I found something profound. One of the most down and dirty definitions of unconditional love I have read outside the Bible.

Griner's Estrangement from Baylor not Justified

I am not a women’s basketball fan. I am not a Baylor fan. Therefore I am not a Brittney Griner fan. It has nothing to do with who she is, it has more to do with I don’t know her well enough (personally or from following her career) to be her fan.

However, I do live in the Waco area and I have watched people worship her and treat her like royalty for a number of years now. Based on a few quotes from the book, Griner has apparently forgotten the love poured out on her when she was here. The quotes appear to point to a change of heart about her time as a super-hero here in Waco. When Brittney came out as gay shortly after leaving Baylor I don’t think anyone at Baylor was surprised. I know I wasn’t. Yet I never heard one adoring fan say anything negative – not one – and I know quite a few high verbal Baylor fans.

Basically Brice is questioning Brittney’s new found distain for Baylor and the fans who supported her so overwhelmingly while she was here in Waco. In the article about Baylor’s stance on homosexuality, Mr. Cherry says,

"Now, as it pertains to the university’s official, much-publicized stance on homosexuality, it must be stressed that Baylor is a Christian school founded on biblical principles. So what Griner is really saying is that she doesn’t like what the Bible has to say on the topic. In my view, Baylor should be applauded, not condemned, for sticking to those principles, whether the mainstream culture considers them popular or not.
 
Unconditional love does not equal total agreement. Do you get that? We don’t all have to agree to love one another. We don’t have to all go along to get along. It’s also, believe it or not, possible to disagree without judgment or hatred.
 
Unfortunately, many who promote the gay agenda don’t tolerate that idea."

Now Christians get the bad rap for saying homosexuality is sin, but really the one you are in disagreement with is God. He said it first. Christians just believe what He said first in His Bible. We don’t get to pick and choose which parts we believe to be true and which parts we believe are outdated. Many argue that because times have changed, so has God. If that argument were true, that He changes His mind with the times, what else has He changed His mind about? Sex with animals (he says that’s wrong too, you know)? Or murder? How about lying? Slander or gossip? Stealing? Many of these are practices done by all of us. Can we justify the sin by saying God has changed His mind because times have changed and now it’s ok? How frustrating that would be. To never know where God stands would make it impossible to trust Him. Even He says that He’s the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Brice’s words are profound – simple – yet profound. So many believe that because Christians believe homosexuality to be sin that Christians hate homosexuals. That would be like saying, because my child does something I disagree with, I hate that child. That’s insane.

My children are wonderful people. They are smart, they are funny, they are all of fine character, and they each have made many wise choices in their lives. However, each one of them has made choices that I have thought, “have they lost their mind?” These choices always involved disobedience to God’s word. Never once, even though I disagreed with their choices, never once, not even for a moment did I hate them. My love for them is without condition…especially the condition that in order for me to love them, they must be exactly like me.

My husband is a good man. He loves me. He loves our children and grandchildren. He protects us. He provides for us. He even makes me coffee in the mornings. But we disagree – about several things – that we will never agree on. Never. But it doesn’t make me hate him. My love for my husband is without condition…especially the condition that in order for me to love him, he must be exactly like me.

I have several friends who are homosexual. I do not hate any of them. I loved them before I knew. I continue to love them. My love for them has nothing to do with the fact that they live a lifestyle I disagree with because of my faith in God and my belief that what He says in His word is still valid today, just like it was back when He said it the first time. I figure that they love me too – in spite of my sin – even though I display sin in my every day life, they love me.

I haven’t walked in their shoes. I don’t understand completely what they deal with on a daily basis. But my love isn’t based on understanding their choices and especially not based on agreeing with their choices. My love is based on the fact that Jesus said LOVE. He didn’t add an addendum to that saying only love those who are just like you. He told me to LOVE.

If one of my grandchildren comes to me someday and tells me they are gay, I can promise this now, it will not cause me to quit loving them. I will definitely share my faith and share what God has taught me and what God has said in His word about homosexuality, but I will continue to love them.

Sadly, most people don’t get that someone can continue to love when they have deep seated differences with someone. In their world disagreement does equal hate.  And even when it's not there, there are those who  will try to convince you that it is.

Even sadder is that many people who tout the name "Christian" hate more than many others. They believe they are right, but they aren't following what Christ said and they're using His name to spread hate. He mentioned taking His name in vain too.

But they don’t get it because they don’t know the love He gave first and without that understanding, you can’t really love – not unconditionally. God loves us so much that He sent His Son from the glories of heaven to put on skin and live this life to perfection and then be beaten and killed on a cross to pay our price for our sin. Something we could never do for ourselves so God, who loves us so much – unconditionally – did the work for us. And if all that were not enough, Jesus rose from the dead to seal the deal. And in His grace, He freely gives us the gift of being saved – the gift of knowing personally the absolute definition of unconditional love.

Deny Yourself...

I have had this verse stuck in my head and heart for the last few weeks – even our Youth Minister used it in his talk tonight. It has revolved around in my head so much that I have actually been trying to figure out how to escape it. Since I can’t get away from my own head, the only option is figure out why God is reminding me of it over and over - what's so important about this verse that He would plant it in my mind for days – weeks. I'm being told something, but what?

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." ~~ Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34 and Luke 9:23 this is Christ’s response to Peter’s declaration that Jesus is the Messiah.

This verse is in the Bible three times - So many important things in God's world involve the number three - Father, Son & Holy Spirit - Mind, Body, Soul - Holy Holy Holy - The coming of Christ was in 333 prophecies - Jesus had a 3 year ministry - He was 33 when Crucified - in the tomb 3 days - etc. So the fact that this scripture appears three times must mean that it is not only important, it is very important to the Christian walk.

Jesus is telling "whoever" what to do to be his disciple - deny self, take up cross, and follow him. Simple right? I don't think so. God has really been drilling the "Deny yourself" part into me for the last few days. Deny Self - Does this mean to act like I don't exist or deny who I am? What does “denying self” mean? How does one deny them self? I decided to look up the word deny...as you read down, prepare to be blown away by the last listing.

–verb (used with object), -nied, -ny·ing.
1. to state that (something declared or believed to be true) is not true: to deny an accusation.
2. to refuse to agree or accede to: to deny a petition.
3. to withhold the possession, use, or enjoyment of: to deny access to secret information.
4. to withhold something from, or refuse to grant a request of: to deny a beggar.
5. to refuse to recognize or acknowledge; disown; disavow; repudiate: to deny one's gods.
6. to withhold (someone) from accessibility to a visitor: The secretary denied his employer to all those without appointments.
7. Obsolete . to refuse to take or accept.
—Idiom
8. deny oneself, to refrain from satisfying one's desires or needs; practice self-denial.

Years of Sunday school have taught me that denying myself means to allow Christ to shine through - that sounds so sweet and pretty. But I think it's harder than that. I think what Jesus is telling us is to deny ourselves the self-satisfying desires of our flesh on this earth. He's telling us to say no to the lie the world feeds us, "if it feels good, do it". Is it sweet? Is it pretty? Does it make us feel good? Does denying ourselves accomplish all of our wants and desires? No - denying ourselves accomplishes His wants and desires. It shows His power and His glory. After all, we're dust - He's God. If we are to make a difference, live a life that is set apart, we need to set ourselves apart. We need to learn how to deny what is flesh and what is worldly and live a life that is completely against our nature - against "how we were born" - because we are all born sinners.

Then, if that isn't hard enough, we are told to pick up our cross. What is a cross - it's death. Jesus died on his cross - he expects us to die on ours. Die to our weakness, die to our sin, die to all the idols we put before Him. Again, not pretty and not easy. Not something that makes us feel good - this is work and it's hard and sometimes it's going to hurt.

Lastly he tells those who want to be his disciples to follow him...where was he going? He was headed to his death on that cross. This Christian life is not easy. It goes against our very nature. Christ is telling us that the cost of following him and being a disciple of his is refraining from fulfilling our every physical, fleshly desire, to carry our heavy burden to the point of death while doing our very best to live as he lived.

Do you claim the name of Christ? Do you want to be known as His? Well then that means denying yourself - not giving into every urge or desire. It means not hiding behind the “I was born this way” lie because we were all born the same way – sinners. He requires that we be over-comers because He is an over-comer. Are you carrying your cross? Have you decided to walk the road that leads to the death of selfishness? Have you decided to really follow Jesus? Or do you just like the pretty parts of being a "Christian"?

The really great news is that He doesn’t expect us to do this all alone. Because of His great love for us, he has provided us the power to live in victory every day of our lives. God sent His Son to show us how and to live the life before us. He was the master of denying himself – God Almighty in skin living as a carpenter, rabbi, traveling preacher who was mocked, chased, used, abused, and eventually killed. He was God – at any moment he could have quit denying himself and gone back to glory, but he picked up his cross and carried it all the way to death. His resurrection three days later has given us the power to live this life boldly and without excuse.

Matthew 16:24 is our calling. We are instructed to live a life worthy of that calling…Are you? Harder question…am I?

So it's been a very long time since I wrote anything. I've been so busy with life that I haven't had time to put all the thoughts banging around in my head down on paper. Ha! Like paper is involved... I thought it was time. So many things are going on in my world that it would be a shame to not write about them.

I haven't quit noticing God in the small stuff and although I'd like to see Him come through in a huge, magnificent, glorious way in a few areas of my life and the lives of my family, I think right now, I'm going to have to be satisfied with the little things along the road, keeping each of those in my heart knowing that He's working in the background to His glory and my good. I'd like to share a few of those little things that have caught my attention in the past few weeks.

The other day at work I had been counting money and got up to wash my hands and really noticed the grime and dirt that was rinsing down the drain with the water. After drying off my hands I marveled at how good it felt to have clean hands but it was just a few minutes before my skin started showing the effects of drying out. I quickly needed to put lotion on my hands, provide them with nourishment, or they were going to dry out. That's the way it is with our walk with God. When He cleans us up and scrubs all the dirt and grime out and off of our lives it feels so good to be clean but we need to quickly get His nourishment into our lives or we will spiritually dry up.

My boss was talking about stories and how everyone has one and that even though there may be a number of people involved in the same situation, their stories may be very different because of their perspective. He was relating this to our work environment. See, my story about my job is a very positive one. It's a new, wonderful job that is so much different from my last work experience that my story about where I work is very positive. However there are people who have worked at the same place for many years and have seen all sorts of change; they've experienced situations and events that I haven't and therefore, their stories are different. While we were discussing this, a woman from another department came by to ask a question and she was pulled into our discussion.

When asked about her story, she said that she had some good experiences and had also gone through some very difficult times, but that every time she came to my boss with a problem, he graciously listened and although he didn't always handle the situation the way she would have and although sometimes it appeared that he didn't handle it all that all the troublesome situations were always resolved to her good. She told us that she never knew what had been done about the problems, but that they were always taken care of and her life at work always came back in line.

As my co-worker was telling her story, I thought, “isn't that just how God answers our prayers?” We come to Him with our petitions and problems and pour ourselves out to Him and let Him know what is wrong and hurting us. His word says that He has gone to work answering our prayers even before we ask. It's just that we don't always see what He's doing. We might lose sight of His work because we don't see it but that doesn't change the fact that He's working for our good in all situations. We know this because it's one of His promises. And just like my co-worker, if we give it time and turn the situation over to God and then just get back to work, we will eventually see that the problem is either solved, has gone away, or we have had a change of heart and no longer look at it the same way. Our story has changed.

What's your story? Are you in a need of clean hands or some spiritual nourishment? Take it to the Lord. Ask Him to work it out for you. Ask Him to re-write your story; ask Him to wash you and then do your part – nourish yourself with His Word and allow Him time to do His work. You'll be amazed.

Peter: Success or Failure???

Our small group started a new study tonight..If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat. Peter got out of the boat...walked on water for a way...suddently realized where he was and what he was doing and saw the potential disaster around him; he forgot who he was walking with and to and began to sink. He cried out for help and was immediately pulled to safety by the hands of Jesus.

While still in the boat, Peter called out to Jesus, "If it's you Lord, command me to come." If it's you, command me...command me if it's you...those words are ringing in my ears and rattling around in my mind. Peter wanted a command...he wanted direction...he wanted direction from his Lord. He got what he asked for. Jesus said come.

Do you want direction? Are you looking for a command? Are you seeking God's will in your life? Jesus said "Come". He wants us to get out of the boat - out of our boats of comfort - out of our boats of habit - out of our boats of complacency - out of our boats of inactivity. What boat are you in? Where is it that He is calling you to COME?

Peter's faith and trust was overwhelmed by the storms and the thoughts of his own inadequacy. He knew beyond a shadow of doubt that he couldn't walk on water and that he was out in the middle of the sea during a storm...when his faith shifted from his Lord to himself, down he went. When his cries of help to the only one who is worth crying out o went out, he was saved.

Peter was overwhelmed...Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the storms in my life...I'm guessing that sometimes you might be overwhelmed too. Did that make Peter a success or a failure? What about the other eleven? They didn't even try to walk on the water. I wonder what was going through their heads..."if Peter doesn't die I might step out...but I'm going to wait to see what happens to Peter." They never got the chance. Peter got to do something no one else has ever done since...he got to walk on water with Jesus. Peter might have struggled in his walk on the water...but at least he got to step out on the edge of miraculous.

I think Peter was a success...he learned a lesson about perfect faith, trust, love, protection, and power. The other 11 just got to watch. I want to be the one learning those lessons...not the one watching from the sidelines. I want out of my boat...I want to be the one walking on the water...How about you?

Ok, as promised I’m here to tell you about how God just blew me away with His lavish love, but I have to go back a ways in order for you to understand the story completely. While you read, turn up the volume - the song is important...

For the past several months I’ve been in a WAIT ON ME season of my life. Through His word, God has given me a clear message that I am supposed to be simply waiting on Him rather than pushing my way through all of life’s situations. I’ve been told to BE STILL and let Him drive the car for now. In all situations. This is completely against my nature. I’m a fix it kind of girl. Take charge and solve the problem. Manipulate where necessary, but get the end desired response quickly and move on to the next thing.

Well, that’s not how He wants me to operate. Too many times I make the assumption that because I think something is a good idea, and am strongly certain that it’s the right path, then it must be from God and it‘s my job to push it through and make it happen. Believe it or not, it's not always turned out well when I've functioned under this method. How many of you are laughing out loud right now because you’ve done something disastrous because of this assumption?

So, being STILL and WAITING involves lots of prayer. One of my prayers for the last few months has been, "please God show me purpose, in my work especially, but also in all areas of my life." I have also been praying for several years for someone very close to me to be delivered from an addiction that was life destroying -- not that it was killing this person physically, but it was killing mentally, socially, and spiritually. My prayers for this person intensified during this BE STILL time. I am close enough to this person to be able to really boldly talk about it but nothing I had said for years had any impact. God told me to stop talking. Again…not my nature.

So, in two big areas of concern in my life, God gave me instructions to BE STILL and BE QUIET; As I tried to do this in these areas, I also tried to do this in smaller things. To let Him have control. I’ve spent a lot of time in the recent months laying it all at the cross. The big things as well as the little stuff…when I have a brilliant idea…rather than planning out how to bring it to life, I’ve been giving it over to God and letting Him bring it to life.

Now just a side note…during all of this, one of my most precious friends has been praying God’s Romance over my life. And Oh how her prayers have been answered. God has shown me His great love in ways I could never have imagined - in ways that are far greater than the simple human ideas I’ve come up with and then laid at the cross.

Ok...back to the story. Several months ago, I got a facebook message from the David Crowder Band page that they were ready to release their new CD and that the release party was going to be in Waco on the 21st of September...click here to buy tickets sort of thing. I was hugely excited! I have a special love for DCB and they had just released the cover of my favorite song, How He Loves. What a thrill it would be to hear them sing my favorite song live! However, before I could order and pay for the tickets, I lost my job. Remember, I was praying about the purpose in my job...apparently there wasn't one and He had other plans for me. Suddenly spending money on something personal and unnecessary like a DCB Concert seemed foolish. I had more important things to consider. The desire to go was still there but in my new BE STILL and BE QUIET mode, I chose to lay it at the cross and not force a way for it to happen.

I had interviewed for a new job, but I hadn't heard anything from them. As the weeks of waiting to hear rolled by, I just figured that they had hired someone else. But I wasn't stressed...I was strangely calm and knew that everything was in God's hands. I had completely surrendered the situation over to Him. David and I even made plans on how to deal if I never found another job.

During this time, Molly had a very bad wreck in Dallas. She could have been killed had God not had His hand of protection on her. It was potentially that bad and I think we all knew it. God miraculously spared my daughter as well as the driver of the other car.

Since I was not working, I had time to go to Dallas and help get Molly settled in a rent car and get hers in the shop to be fixed. This was a true blessing. Had I been working I never would have been able to go and spend the three days with my daughter. Even though I didn't understand all this, God knew exactly what He was doing.

While I was gone, I got a phone call from the addicted one I had been praying for telling me that the realization of how far from God they were as a result of the behavior had really sunk in. They said it was as if God sat down next to them and basically said everything I had been saying in the past. I guess I had been so busy talking, that they couldn't hear God's voice...the one that really mattered. Once I got QUIET, God could be heard. Absolutely amazing...a miracle. A life turned around because of God and because of Him only.

Shortly after getting home from taking care of Molly, I got the news that a company I had interviewed with four weeks earlier wanted me to come to work for them. They offered me a substantial pay increase over what I had been making and the work atmosphere is so much better than where I had been before. This was definitely a God thing.

So, my first week of work was wonderful - an amazing atmosphere, wonderful people, a vast improvement over the last place. This was such a huge blessing. Since I was now working, I thought I'd try to see about getting those DCB tickets...but it was too late. They were sold out. I was disappointed, but everything else was so amazing...I had settled into a very comfortable place...my heart was full of love and I was beginning to see the blessings associated with letting God be in control. I just decided to be happy with knowing that on Tuesday, I could buy the cd.

Monday was just another day . . . got up, went to work, came home and sat down in the chair with my computer...a little facebook and email reading before I had to cook dinner. Then it happened...from the strangest of places. I got a fb chat note from Christopher asking me if I wanted to go to the David Crowder Band Release Party. Megan's friend had an extra ticket and she knew I loved DCB and wondered if I would like to go...How did she know? We ran into each other the day before at lunch after church and it was briefly mentioned that her mother loved them but nothing about the concert.

Now, I'm not exactly sure of the details, but somehow Sammi was given free tickets by Ted Nugent and she had one extra and she thought of me. Someone I don't know too well was given free tickets by Ted Nugent, a superstar in his own right but a total stranger to me, and she thought of me. O How He Loves Me! This was the icing on my cake - the whipped cream on the sundae. How in the world could this be anything other than God?

Needless to say, I asked the Mayor if he minded if I went, I hopped in the car and headed to UBC. Jaimee and Brent saved me a place up front with them and I got to praise God from the front row of the DCB Church Music release party. In my wildest imagination...in my rushing and pushing...with all my movement and noise, I would never have thought of this. But when I got STILL and QUIET He blew me away with His love and His amazing way!

I am passionately in love with the God of the universe. He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy! I am breathless. I am loved!

Does this mean that all of my life's problems have been solved ... not yet...someday they will be .. for now there's still going to be tough things to deal with ... but I'm learning to rely on Him completely ... to just soak in His great Love. It makes everything glorious!

I've been Missing In Action

Wow - I can't believe it has been so long since I've written a word. It's all been in my head, but it doesn't do me (or anyone else) a bit of good if it's just rattling around in my brain. I mostly do this for my own sanity but my prayer is that someone gets something from the little words I type.

The last few months have been a challenge in "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!". He has really challenged me to simply stop and let Him do. And OH the amazing things He has done.

In my battle to keep my two cents to myself, I have learned that it's much more satisfying to watch God work and see the glory of His hands than it is for me to show what I know and what I can do. He has blown me away with answer after answer to prayer - from little things to very big things. He graciously saved my husband's job. He has freed those close to me from addiction. He saved my daughter's life (I'm simply sure of it!). He moved me from an awful job to what appears to be an amazing opportunity. He has strengthened my marriage while many around me are falling apart. He had given me a new thirst and hunger for His word and companionship. I can't begin to list the prayers that have been answered. For some, the answer has been either NO or NOT YET. Only time will tell the difference.

Christopher and Stephen have both made it home from boot camp and are in school - we don't know exactly what the future holds for them, but we know that God is in control and there is no limit to His protection. Molly is excelling in college and loves her job. Mego has change in her life right now, but I am confident that God is right in the big middle of it and it's in His hands. Connor is growing like a weed - walking and doing his best to talk. He is such a bright light in our lives right now

Now, not everything has worked out all wonderful and rosey. My oldest son is unemployed and struggling to find a new job. There just doesn't seem to be anything out there for him. But I know that God made all of this from nothing and it is perfectly within His power to create the perfect job for Michael I know in my soul that it will come at just the right time...at God's time. He might have to move back in with us - but the silver lining is that it was my husband's idea...he made the offer to Michael. How much sweeter it is if I have nothing to do with it...if I keep my mouth closed and let God shine.

The lesson learned...I guess Solomon said it best, "to everything there is a season". There is a season for action and a season for being still. There are deep life lessons in both seasons. This has been my season of being still. I'm looking forward to the next season....I hope it involves football :-)

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19, NLT

So I’ve not done much writing recently. I miss it. I guess I just haven’t had anything worthwhile to say. Life has been tough around our house for a season. I’m ready for that season to be over but it doesn’t seem to be ready to blow on out of here.

David was told today that GM is closing 3000+ of its 6000+ dealerships. That’s very scary. And not just for us. Thousands of people are going to be put out of work and for many of the factory workers, both husband and wife might lose their jobs. Thousands of families – children - will be affected by this – the Thomas family possibly being one of them.

And when you go through deep waters, I will be with you. ~ Isaiah 43:2, NLT

I am supremely confident that God will take care of us and see us through; I know He will because He has before and because He keeps His promises. But the definition of “seeing us through” doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t going to be a long tough road with lots of sacrifice and disappointment. It just means that He will be with us through to the other side – sustaining us with His love, mercy and grace which when you think about it is far more than we deserve. And seriously this more than likely won’t kill us whereas many people are battling things that will. And even if it does, imagine the glory in that?

The fleshy, selfish part of me is just so tired of struggling – so tired of going from one tough time to the next without a breather in between. I just feel like I have a sunny, warm season coming to me – that I’m entitled to a little relief. But isn’t it that “entitlement mentality that got us into this mess to begin with? Everyone thinks they deserve better. And weren’t we told that there would be trials…not that there might be trials but that there would be trials?

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. ~ Matthew 6:33, NLT

So the real question is, what am I going to do about this…how am I going to get through whatever God has stretched out before me? I’m going to seek Him! I’m going to plunge myself DEEP in the well of living water and drink from its flow and if I get off path and wander into my own pity party and I’m going to ask God to pull me out and to open my eyes to the beauty around me. I want Him to show me how truly blessed I am.

Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself; how I praise you! ~ Psalm 63:3, NLT

So I praise Him – I thank him for each breath and for each blessing and for each trial. I praise Him for being the God of the Universe and for being magnificently awesome and powerful and yet compassionate and gentle and loving. I praise Him that He is going to see us through yet another trial and difficult time. I praise Him that He cares enough and is true enough to keep every promise He’s made – to never forsake us. I praise Him that with each trial comes strength and a deeper faith and love.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. ~ James 5:16, NLT

My prayer is for the thousand other GM employees who due to no fault of their own will be out of job soon. May God show His rich mercy and grace to them and sustain them. May each of them be compelled to seek Him and know Him more through this situation. May He provide friends and communities to come around those affected to care for and support them. May this dark, hard time be a time where God shows Himself to those who might not already know Him. May the name of His Son, JESUS, be glorified. May He be found faithful and true to all He says and is.

So often everything boils down to how we see something…These two pictures were taken from my office parking lot within seconds of each other. The only difference was the direction I was pointed. I think a picture (or two) is worth a thousand words...

What’s your perspective? Are you facing the direction of the big, black, scary clouds of gloom or are you facing the bright blue expanse of God’s great sky?

It’s all a matter of perspective. What direction are you looking?

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!” 1 Samuel 12:16

It feels like it has been raining for ever…we’ve been so dry and in great need of rain and now that it’s here, we seem to have an abundance…more than we really need or thought we’d get. But isn’t that just like God? As the need grows, we pray; we might even get a little desperate. But when He hears from heaven and begins to supply our needs, He overwhelms us with His generosity! Let’s continue to pray for our country and its desperate need for Him; pray for the lost around world. Soon He’ll hear from heaven and overwhelm us with His generosity…He’ll rain down on us! That’s what He does.

"You heavens above, rain down righteousness;
let the clouds shower it down.
Let the earth open wide,
let salvation spring up,
let righteousness grow with it;
I, the LORD, have created it.”
Isaiah 45:8

What Happens???

What happens? I mean where along the path of life do so many decide that our way is better? At what juncture do we decide to toss it all out the window -- everything we have been taught, believed, and accepted as truth? When does our faith just become unimportant and a different way become better? Why is it that the world’s path is so appealing? Where is the jumping off place? Why is it that so many of us must journey so far off the narrow road before we come back to what we know to be the road that leads to life – real life?

I can honestly say that there was a very long season of my life where I thought that I needed to be a part of what was happening around me and in spite of the fact that I should have known better, all the appeals this world reached out and grabbed my attention. I made some decisions about who I was and how I was going to live based on my selfish ambitions and desires. But did I know that’s what I was doing at the time? Certainly not – not at first, anyway.

I wanted to be popular and have lots of friends who thought I was fun to be around and hang out with so I did what the fun girls did…smoked, drank too much, used foul language, stayed up late partying and slept through class, dated guys who I had no business dating, basically just lived a very selfish lifestyle to benefit me and only me. Was I having fun? I thought so at the time and I’m not so sure that if anyone had actually said anything to me about it that I would have seen the error of my ways at the time. I had really jumped in and liked where I was.

Did it turn out to be all it was cracked up to be? Did the world keep its promises to me? Did all that “fun” create permanent bonds between me and my friends? Did those friends stick around to see me through the tough times of young adulthood that followed? Were any of them there to help me quit smoking? Were any of them there when I buried my first child? Were they there to help me get my life back on track after messing up my college education and my first marriage? No – not one of them. They all moved on quite quickly when I wasn’t so much fun to be around anymore. Once the wear and tear of that lifestyle took its toll (and it always does) they were gone.

Well, actually, that’s not true. Jesus was there – He had been all along -- just waiting for me to realize that I was in desperate need of Him and that He alone was my satisfaction. Only He was there for all the repair and rebuilding. Only He held me together. He was the crutch I leaned on to hobble back onto the narrow road and continue on my journey. He has been there for me every step of the way.

Has He kept His promises to me? Every one of them! Has He provided the life and joy I was seeking? Absolutely. He’s given me way more than just Himself but really that’s all I needed and way more than I deserve. I can look back now and see with better vision what I could not see then, but I have older and wiser eyes and a Teacher who has taught me much but who is not near finished educating me.

Sometimes I get sad about that period of my life; I wish I could go back and undo many of the things I did. I wish that I had just stayed the course and not gone through all that. But the truth is if my mistakes, pains, and struggles can help keep or bring back one other person then it was all worth it. I pray for those who stray, rejoice with those who choose to return, and walk with those who never left.


****Note - this was posted on my facebook today as a note. I didn't tag anyone in it, but it was written for many I see falling into the pit I was in. Please pray that God will guide their eyes to it and use it for His purposes and His glory****

Merry Christmas!

As we finished up our lesson on the healing of the Centurion’s servant (not real Christmasie but a wonderful lesson in Christ’s love and power), I asked my 7th and 8th grade girls to think about their most memorable Christmas gift and their most memorable Christmas moment. Then I headed to the copier to make our worksheet large enough to add to the wall décor and as I went, my mind raced with all the years and years of Christmas memories.

I thought back to the anticipation of getting the one thing I thought I wanted most in the world, a leather coat with fringe on the sleeves, only to open a PURPLE leather vest with fringe that went to the floor. I didn’t have the nerve to tell mother she had really messed up with this gift – I graciously kept it and my brothers and I had a cornerstone piece of our Halloween costumes for years to come. Many years later, Mom found it in the closet and wrapped it up and gave it to me again. This time it brought tears of joy instead of horror and embarrassment. Isn’t it funny what time can do to something we perceive as awful, embarrassing, and ugly?

I remembered the time Daddy shrunk my favorite sweater when trying to help me out by doing my laundry and how he felt so bad he went and shopped for hours to find as an exact match as possible to give me for Christmas. Mom always did all the shopping for us, but this was special – Dad took time out of his busy schedule to restore to me something precious that had been lost.

Then there was the Christmas that Dad worked so hard to surprise Mom. He always gave her wonderful, well thought out, personal gifts but this year was going to be special. He was giving her a mink coat. Just before Christmas the Neiman Marcus fur vault caught fire and all the inventory and customer storage was lost – millions in fur up in smoke. Dad decided to use this to his advantage. He borrowed my dress up mink stole and wrapped it up in a beautiful package; but before closing the box, he burnt some tissue paper and put it in the box with my toy stole. When Mom opened her present, ashes went everywhere and out she pulled my toy stole. We all had a good laugh as Dad explained that he had purchased a priceless mink coat for her but it had been destroyed in the Neiman’s fire and this was all that was left. Needless to say, he had her coat waiting for her in the other room and she was overjoyed to find the perfect gift Dad had prepared just for her.

Yet, all of these gifts were made possible because of the fist and best Christmas present – the gift from God of His Only Begotten Son; the one perfect gift that would be the example for all future Christmas gifts. God carefully planned the perfect time, the perfect place, and the perfect setting to give His gift. He knew exactly what we needed to be restored and that’s what He gave. He gave His best with more love than we can imagine. His gift took our sin and shame and made it something beautiful – His gift restored what was long lost by our sin – His planning and timing were perfect.

This week is going to be filled with family, fun, and all sorts of new Christmas memories and conversations and laughter about years gone by. As we make new memories and remember the joys of the past, let’s be sure to thank our Father for the perfect gift – that very first Christmas Present – Jesus our Savior!

Merry Christmas!

Out to Lunch Bunch

I have these friends...none of us can really explain how we hooked up as a group to begin with because we are each so different -- not just in personality but also in where we are in life. But now that we're a group we make the most of our friendship. We pray for each other, we celebrate with each other, we cry for each other, and mostly we laugh with each other. God has blessed us with the Spirit of JOY. I couldn't get through without these women! How I wish I had my camera in hand for each of the moments at our last Out To Lunch Bunch Feast, but here are a few shots.

Starting Over with Change....

What’s it look like?

How much change is possible?

Am I qualified to answer the questions?

My church is looking to the future. To see what the body thinks, the group of people in charge of this project has randomly sent out anonymous surveys. We did this a few years ago and as far as I can tell, nothing happened – no change occurred -- which leads me to believe one of four things happened. Either no one answered the survey, everyone was happy (or afraid to “complain”), no one proposed anything new or challenging, or leadership wasn’t interested in implementing any of the changes suggested. No matter which one of those is actually true…how sad.

I’m pretty sure the first isn’t true because I know several people who did fill out a survey and turn it in, me included. Odds say that there is no way everyone was happy with the status quo and I’m guessing a few people had to have enough gumption to throw a few new ideas into the ring. So that leaves the other two…the ideas weren’t seen as good or the leadership wasn’t as interested in shaking things up as they thought they were.

I’m not sure what the answer is since I was not a part of the group who got to read the surveys nor was I a “decision maker”. But either way, it’s a bit disturbing that I am either a part of a church that is completely without ideas or the leadership is lacking what it takes to step out in faith and do something new for the Lord.

Both will dry us up as a church body.

I don’t want anything God doesn’t want and I believe He uses opportunities like this to get His ideas down on paper so I’m going to prayerfully hold on to my survey for a time and re-read the book of Acts. Every church body should come as close as they can to being like the churches in Acts. Those were the ones that set the world on fire and if ever the world needed fresh fire, it’s now.

Just Let Go - He's there to catch you!

Sometimes my heart just hurts for those around me…sometimes for me personally. For times that I just don’t understand or see what God is trying to teach me. For times that I can clearly see what He’s doing (or trying to do) in the lives of others but unable to assist – to push them along.

Now, I believe that at any given moment – during every season of life – God is working on and in us. Since we will never reach perfection on this planet, He is constantly refining us, molding us into His image. Once we develop strength of character and fruit in one area, a whole new area is opened up that needs work and improvement. Some of these lessons are easy – we learn and apply without ever really knowing what happened. Some of the lessons aren’t so easy. We go kicking and screaming into change. We hang on to the door frames and door knobs as He pulls and prods us out of the past and into the present and on into the future. We fight with everything we have to stay the same -- to hold on to what we believe is best for us and to have things our way instead of God’s.

Why do we put up such a fight? Why can’t we just let go and let God have His way with us? Hasn’t history proven that He always knows what is best? Hasn’t He always protected us, provided for us, shown us His unwavering love? Are we afraid of what the change is going to cost us? Are we so comfortable in our present circumstances that we don’t long for more of His likeness? Why are our heads and hearts so soft in some areas of our lives and so darn hard in others?

I can remember a time in my life when I was in such a fight. I was in so deep I was not only comfortable and convinced I was right, I didn’t believe I needed out. I had become someone else – the new, re-birthed me was buried deep beneath my sin. I was not who God had intended but I could feel myself just settling in because it was easier than going back to that new soul Christ made when He saved me. I had lots of justifications and rationalizations for my sin. And it was cheap and easy; the change was going to be hard and cost me greatly. This was going to change the very image of whom and what I had become. I would have to completely let go of my power and control. Even though in my soul I knew the change was right and what needed to happen I didn’t want to let go – I liked my sin – I wanted to be right no matter what it cost me – on this earth or in heaven. However God was persistent and eventually, I could no longer stand the battle – I lost the will to fight. Letting go became the easiest thing in the world and when I finally did let go – just as He promised – God was right there to catch me and put me back together. I praise Him for what He did and how He loved me then and how He loves me now. How preciously He never said, “I told you so!” He just took my shame and covered it with His scars.

There are so many people in my life that I am watching in a battle – maybe not specifically what I was in, but stuck in sin they simply don’t want out of – sin they are not willing to even call sin. I know the battle that must be going on inside them – the battle for control over the sin. I also know who is going to ultimately win. Why not just let go now so that the abundant part can begin – why hang on so tightly to death?

Sometimes, my heart just hurts. I pray for you daily.

Not too Deep...but I get it.

I have a situation in my life that I can't change. The situation is between me and someone I deeply love, and the power to do anything about it is out of my hands. I could harp about it and whine about it and remind over and over how it bothers me and how it is probably not the right (or even healthy) thing to do, but that won't cause the change. I have given some very compelling pleas and offered up a number of solutions, but the power to change is not mine. It's not my decision to make. I see how this is putting a wall up in our relationship but I can't do anything about it...or can I?

I can see, through very foggy human eyes, how God must feel when He gives us the Truth and sets the choice out before us and so often we choose unwisely...frequently holding on to things He died to set us free from...holding on to the old self. I see how that causes a distance in our relationship with God - yet He loves and waits for us to make the choice to change. But until the choice is made and true repentance comes, the relationship is different. God can't choose for us.

God's Holy Spirit must be the convictor and bring my loved one to repentance, but the choice to change is theirs, not mine. Only then will the change come and only then will the relationship be healed. In the meantime I guess I can do something about it, I can pray.

Light in the Darkness

So, I’m not really sure where this is going to go...let’s just follow it for a few minutes. This morning, while on the edge of awake, but really still asleep, a bright light hit my face and my first reaction, even before opening my eyes, was “wow that’s bright – I wonder where it’s coming from”. I really thought it was some sort of giant spot light in my face – not sure from where – but keep in mind I was still half asleep – my imagination was in full throttle.

I opened my eyes and looked at the light – it was coming through the tiniest of cracks in our bathroom door. Not at all giant or huge but making a profound impact on the darkness of morning. All at once a flood of childhood memories came streaming into my head of early mornings at my Nana and Papa’s house. My brothers and I asleep on the foldout couch in the den and the adults quietly sneaking into the kitchen for their morning coffee. They tried to be quiet and not disturb us, but as soon as one would turn on a light, even in the back of the house, the brightness of even a pinpoint of light streaking into the den would wake us.

I don’t know what all that has to do with anything but isn’t it funny where our minds go early in the morning when sleep isn’t quite over yet we’re still far from awake?

Once I had come to my senses, I headed out to see where the light was coming from and what the necessity of having it on was all about. I was drawn to the light to learn more. To my surprise I discovered that it was past time for me to wake up and that I needed to get out of my jammies and into some clothes and get to work – time was running out – I had overslept.

I’ve tossed that moment around in my head most of today. What keeps coming to me are the verses that say, “God is light, in Him there is no darkness at all” and “we are the light in a dark world”. It didn’t take very much light for me to think I was under interrogation this morning. A tiny bit of light broke through the dark morning and disturbed my sleep. Is it possible that only a tiny bit of God can break through the darkness of our lives and disturb our sin? That in fact, we are drawn to the light and have a need to learn more about it – whether it’s the light of day or the light of God?

In Genesis 1:4 it says that “God separated the light from the darkness”. He did it on purpose. And on purpose He calls us to be set apart – holy – from the rest of the world. I never really thought about about it but there must have been a reason He wanted the light separated from the darkness, otherwise He wouldn't have done it. I'm sure it was to show the vast difference.

I think that many Christians don’t really understand, or even often think about, the profound affect (and effect) living their daily lives in Christ has on the world. A life lived for Christ, no matter how small, pierces the darkness and people are drawn to it to learn more. We don’t have to be a Beth Moore or a Billy Graham to be a piercing light in a dark world. Our single small life can break through a dark life and draw them to the source. But before it’s too late, we need to wake up, get out of our jammies, put on all our Christlike clothing and get to work letting our lights shine before men.