What Happens???

What happens? I mean where along the path of life do so many decide that our way is better? At what juncture do we decide to toss it all out the window -- everything we have been taught, believed, and accepted as truth? When does our faith just become unimportant and a different way become better? Why is it that the world’s path is so appealing? Where is the jumping off place? Why is it that so many of us must journey so far off the narrow road before we come back to what we know to be the road that leads to life – real life?

I can honestly say that there was a very long season of my life where I thought that I needed to be a part of what was happening around me and in spite of the fact that I should have known better, all the appeals this world reached out and grabbed my attention. I made some decisions about who I was and how I was going to live based on my selfish ambitions and desires. But did I know that’s what I was doing at the time? Certainly not – not at first, anyway.

I wanted to be popular and have lots of friends who thought I was fun to be around and hang out with so I did what the fun girls did…smoked, drank too much, used foul language, stayed up late partying and slept through class, dated guys who I had no business dating, basically just lived a very selfish lifestyle to benefit me and only me. Was I having fun? I thought so at the time and I’m not so sure that if anyone had actually said anything to me about it that I would have seen the error of my ways at the time. I had really jumped in and liked where I was.

Did it turn out to be all it was cracked up to be? Did the world keep its promises to me? Did all that “fun” create permanent bonds between me and my friends? Did those friends stick around to see me through the tough times of young adulthood that followed? Were any of them there to help me quit smoking? Were any of them there when I buried my first child? Were they there to help me get my life back on track after messing up my college education and my first marriage? No – not one of them. They all moved on quite quickly when I wasn’t so much fun to be around anymore. Once the wear and tear of that lifestyle took its toll (and it always does) they were gone.

Well, actually, that’s not true. Jesus was there – He had been all along -- just waiting for me to realize that I was in desperate need of Him and that He alone was my satisfaction. Only He was there for all the repair and rebuilding. Only He held me together. He was the crutch I leaned on to hobble back onto the narrow road and continue on my journey. He has been there for me every step of the way.

Has He kept His promises to me? Every one of them! Has He provided the life and joy I was seeking? Absolutely. He’s given me way more than just Himself but really that’s all I needed and way more than I deserve. I can look back now and see with better vision what I could not see then, but I have older and wiser eyes and a Teacher who has taught me much but who is not near finished educating me.

Sometimes I get sad about that period of my life; I wish I could go back and undo many of the things I did. I wish that I had just stayed the course and not gone through all that. But the truth is if my mistakes, pains, and struggles can help keep or bring back one other person then it was all worth it. I pray for those who stray, rejoice with those who choose to return, and walk with those who never left.


****Note - this was posted on my facebook today as a note. I didn't tag anyone in it, but it was written for many I see falling into the pit I was in. Please pray that God will guide their eyes to it and use it for His purposes and His glory****