Peter: Success or Failure???

Our small group started a new study tonight..If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat. Peter got out of the boat...walked on water for a way...suddently realized where he was and what he was doing and saw the potential disaster around him; he forgot who he was walking with and to and began to sink. He cried out for help and was immediately pulled to safety by the hands of Jesus.

While still in the boat, Peter called out to Jesus, "If it's you Lord, command me to come." If it's you, command me...command me if it's you...those words are ringing in my ears and rattling around in my mind. Peter wanted a command...he wanted direction...he wanted direction from his Lord. He got what he asked for. Jesus said come.

Do you want direction? Are you looking for a command? Are you seeking God's will in your life? Jesus said "Come". He wants us to get out of the boat - out of our boats of comfort - out of our boats of habit - out of our boats of complacency - out of our boats of inactivity. What boat are you in? Where is it that He is calling you to COME?

Peter's faith and trust was overwhelmed by the storms and the thoughts of his own inadequacy. He knew beyond a shadow of doubt that he couldn't walk on water and that he was out in the middle of the sea during a storm...when his faith shifted from his Lord to himself, down he went. When his cries of help to the only one who is worth crying out o went out, he was saved.

Peter was overwhelmed...Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the storms in my life...I'm guessing that sometimes you might be overwhelmed too. Did that make Peter a success or a failure? What about the other eleven? They didn't even try to walk on the water. I wonder what was going through their heads..."if Peter doesn't die I might step out...but I'm going to wait to see what happens to Peter." They never got the chance. Peter got to do something no one else has ever done since...he got to walk on water with Jesus. Peter might have struggled in his walk on the water...but at least he got to step out on the edge of miraculous.

I think Peter was a success...he learned a lesson about perfect faith, trust, love, protection, and power. The other 11 just got to watch. I want to be the one learning those lessons...not the one watching from the sidelines. I want out of my boat...I want to be the one walking on the water...How about you?

Ok, as promised I’m here to tell you about how God just blew me away with His lavish love, but I have to go back a ways in order for you to understand the story completely. While you read, turn up the volume - the song is important...

For the past several months I’ve been in a WAIT ON ME season of my life. Through His word, God has given me a clear message that I am supposed to be simply waiting on Him rather than pushing my way through all of life’s situations. I’ve been told to BE STILL and let Him drive the car for now. In all situations. This is completely against my nature. I’m a fix it kind of girl. Take charge and solve the problem. Manipulate where necessary, but get the end desired response quickly and move on to the next thing.

Well, that’s not how He wants me to operate. Too many times I make the assumption that because I think something is a good idea, and am strongly certain that it’s the right path, then it must be from God and it‘s my job to push it through and make it happen. Believe it or not, it's not always turned out well when I've functioned under this method. How many of you are laughing out loud right now because you’ve done something disastrous because of this assumption?

So, being STILL and WAITING involves lots of prayer. One of my prayers for the last few months has been, "please God show me purpose, in my work especially, but also in all areas of my life." I have also been praying for several years for someone very close to me to be delivered from an addiction that was life destroying -- not that it was killing this person physically, but it was killing mentally, socially, and spiritually. My prayers for this person intensified during this BE STILL time. I am close enough to this person to be able to really boldly talk about it but nothing I had said for years had any impact. God told me to stop talking. Again…not my nature.

So, in two big areas of concern in my life, God gave me instructions to BE STILL and BE QUIET; As I tried to do this in these areas, I also tried to do this in smaller things. To let Him have control. I’ve spent a lot of time in the recent months laying it all at the cross. The big things as well as the little stuff…when I have a brilliant idea…rather than planning out how to bring it to life, I’ve been giving it over to God and letting Him bring it to life.

Now just a side note…during all of this, one of my most precious friends has been praying God’s Romance over my life. And Oh how her prayers have been answered. God has shown me His great love in ways I could never have imagined - in ways that are far greater than the simple human ideas I’ve come up with and then laid at the cross.

Ok...back to the story. Several months ago, I got a facebook message from the David Crowder Band page that they were ready to release their new CD and that the release party was going to be in Waco on the 21st of September...click here to buy tickets sort of thing. I was hugely excited! I have a special love for DCB and they had just released the cover of my favorite song, How He Loves. What a thrill it would be to hear them sing my favorite song live! However, before I could order and pay for the tickets, I lost my job. Remember, I was praying about the purpose in my job...apparently there wasn't one and He had other plans for me. Suddenly spending money on something personal and unnecessary like a DCB Concert seemed foolish. I had more important things to consider. The desire to go was still there but in my new BE STILL and BE QUIET mode, I chose to lay it at the cross and not force a way for it to happen.

I had interviewed for a new job, but I hadn't heard anything from them. As the weeks of waiting to hear rolled by, I just figured that they had hired someone else. But I wasn't stressed...I was strangely calm and knew that everything was in God's hands. I had completely surrendered the situation over to Him. David and I even made plans on how to deal if I never found another job.

During this time, Molly had a very bad wreck in Dallas. She could have been killed had God not had His hand of protection on her. It was potentially that bad and I think we all knew it. God miraculously spared my daughter as well as the driver of the other car.

Since I was not working, I had time to go to Dallas and help get Molly settled in a rent car and get hers in the shop to be fixed. This was a true blessing. Had I been working I never would have been able to go and spend the three days with my daughter. Even though I didn't understand all this, God knew exactly what He was doing.

While I was gone, I got a phone call from the addicted one I had been praying for telling me that the realization of how far from God they were as a result of the behavior had really sunk in. They said it was as if God sat down next to them and basically said everything I had been saying in the past. I guess I had been so busy talking, that they couldn't hear God's voice...the one that really mattered. Once I got QUIET, God could be heard. Absolutely amazing...a miracle. A life turned around because of God and because of Him only.

Shortly after getting home from taking care of Molly, I got the news that a company I had interviewed with four weeks earlier wanted me to come to work for them. They offered me a substantial pay increase over what I had been making and the work atmosphere is so much better than where I had been before. This was definitely a God thing.

So, my first week of work was wonderful - an amazing atmosphere, wonderful people, a vast improvement over the last place. This was such a huge blessing. Since I was now working, I thought I'd try to see about getting those DCB tickets...but it was too late. They were sold out. I was disappointed, but everything else was so amazing...I had settled into a very comfortable place...my heart was full of love and I was beginning to see the blessings associated with letting God be in control. I just decided to be happy with knowing that on Tuesday, I could buy the cd.

Monday was just another day . . . got up, went to work, came home and sat down in the chair with my computer...a little facebook and email reading before I had to cook dinner. Then it happened...from the strangest of places. I got a fb chat note from Christopher asking me if I wanted to go to the David Crowder Band Release Party. Megan's friend had an extra ticket and she knew I loved DCB and wondered if I would like to go...How did she know? We ran into each other the day before at lunch after church and it was briefly mentioned that her mother loved them but nothing about the concert.

Now, I'm not exactly sure of the details, but somehow Sammi was given free tickets by Ted Nugent and she had one extra and she thought of me. Someone I don't know too well was given free tickets by Ted Nugent, a superstar in his own right but a total stranger to me, and she thought of me. O How He Loves Me! This was the icing on my cake - the whipped cream on the sundae. How in the world could this be anything other than God?

Needless to say, I asked the Mayor if he minded if I went, I hopped in the car and headed to UBC. Jaimee and Brent saved me a place up front with them and I got to praise God from the front row of the DCB Church Music release party. In my wildest imagination...in my rushing and pushing...with all my movement and noise, I would never have thought of this. But when I got STILL and QUIET He blew me away with His love and His amazing way!

I am passionately in love with the God of the universe. He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy! I am breathless. I am loved!

Does this mean that all of my life's problems have been solved ... not yet...someday they will be .. for now there's still going to be tough things to deal with ... but I'm learning to rely on Him completely ... to just soak in His great Love. It makes everything glorious!

I've been Missing In Action

Wow - I can't believe it has been so long since I've written a word. It's all been in my head, but it doesn't do me (or anyone else) a bit of good if it's just rattling around in my brain. I mostly do this for my own sanity but my prayer is that someone gets something from the little words I type.

The last few months have been a challenge in "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!". He has really challenged me to simply stop and let Him do. And OH the amazing things He has done.

In my battle to keep my two cents to myself, I have learned that it's much more satisfying to watch God work and see the glory of His hands than it is for me to show what I know and what I can do. He has blown me away with answer after answer to prayer - from little things to very big things. He graciously saved my husband's job. He has freed those close to me from addiction. He saved my daughter's life (I'm simply sure of it!). He moved me from an awful job to what appears to be an amazing opportunity. He has strengthened my marriage while many around me are falling apart. He had given me a new thirst and hunger for His word and companionship. I can't begin to list the prayers that have been answered. For some, the answer has been either NO or NOT YET. Only time will tell the difference.

Christopher and Stephen have both made it home from boot camp and are in school - we don't know exactly what the future holds for them, but we know that God is in control and there is no limit to His protection. Molly is excelling in college and loves her job. Mego has change in her life right now, but I am confident that God is right in the big middle of it and it's in His hands. Connor is growing like a weed - walking and doing his best to talk. He is such a bright light in our lives right now

Now, not everything has worked out all wonderful and rosey. My oldest son is unemployed and struggling to find a new job. There just doesn't seem to be anything out there for him. But I know that God made all of this from nothing and it is perfectly within His power to create the perfect job for Michael I know in my soul that it will come at just the right time...at God's time. He might have to move back in with us - but the silver lining is that it was my husband's idea...he made the offer to Michael. How much sweeter it is if I have nothing to do with it...if I keep my mouth closed and let God shine.

The lesson learned...I guess Solomon said it best, "to everything there is a season". There is a season for action and a season for being still. There are deep life lessons in both seasons. This has been my season of being still. I'm looking forward to the next season....I hope it involves football :-)

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19, NLT

So I’ve not done much writing recently. I miss it. I guess I just haven’t had anything worthwhile to say. Life has been tough around our house for a season. I’m ready for that season to be over but it doesn’t seem to be ready to blow on out of here.

David was told today that GM is closing 3000+ of its 6000+ dealerships. That’s very scary. And not just for us. Thousands of people are going to be put out of work and for many of the factory workers, both husband and wife might lose their jobs. Thousands of families – children - will be affected by this – the Thomas family possibly being one of them.

And when you go through deep waters, I will be with you. ~ Isaiah 43:2, NLT

I am supremely confident that God will take care of us and see us through; I know He will because He has before and because He keeps His promises. But the definition of “seeing us through” doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t going to be a long tough road with lots of sacrifice and disappointment. It just means that He will be with us through to the other side – sustaining us with His love, mercy and grace which when you think about it is far more than we deserve. And seriously this more than likely won’t kill us whereas many people are battling things that will. And even if it does, imagine the glory in that?

The fleshy, selfish part of me is just so tired of struggling – so tired of going from one tough time to the next without a breather in between. I just feel like I have a sunny, warm season coming to me – that I’m entitled to a little relief. But isn’t it that “entitlement mentality that got us into this mess to begin with? Everyone thinks they deserve better. And weren’t we told that there would be trials…not that there might be trials but that there would be trials?

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. ~ Matthew 6:33, NLT

So the real question is, what am I going to do about this…how am I going to get through whatever God has stretched out before me? I’m going to seek Him! I’m going to plunge myself DEEP in the well of living water and drink from its flow and if I get off path and wander into my own pity party and I’m going to ask God to pull me out and to open my eyes to the beauty around me. I want Him to show me how truly blessed I am.

Your unfailing love is better to me than life itself; how I praise you! ~ Psalm 63:3, NLT

So I praise Him – I thank him for each breath and for each blessing and for each trial. I praise Him for being the God of the Universe and for being magnificently awesome and powerful and yet compassionate and gentle and loving. I praise Him that He is going to see us through yet another trial and difficult time. I praise Him that He cares enough and is true enough to keep every promise He’s made – to never forsake us. I praise Him that with each trial comes strength and a deeper faith and love.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. ~ James 5:16, NLT

My prayer is for the thousand other GM employees who due to no fault of their own will be out of job soon. May God show His rich mercy and grace to them and sustain them. May each of them be compelled to seek Him and know Him more through this situation. May He provide friends and communities to come around those affected to care for and support them. May this dark, hard time be a time where God shows Himself to those who might not already know Him. May the name of His Son, JESUS, be glorified. May He be found faithful and true to all He says and is.

So often everything boils down to how we see something…These two pictures were taken from my office parking lot within seconds of each other. The only difference was the direction I was pointed. I think a picture (or two) is worth a thousand words...

What’s your perspective? Are you facing the direction of the big, black, scary clouds of gloom or are you facing the bright blue expanse of God’s great sky?

It’s all a matter of perspective. What direction are you looking?

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!” 1 Samuel 12:16

It feels like it has been raining for ever…we’ve been so dry and in great need of rain and now that it’s here, we seem to have an abundance…more than we really need or thought we’d get. But isn’t that just like God? As the need grows, we pray; we might even get a little desperate. But when He hears from heaven and begins to supply our needs, He overwhelms us with His generosity! Let’s continue to pray for our country and its desperate need for Him; pray for the lost around world. Soon He’ll hear from heaven and overwhelm us with His generosity…He’ll rain down on us! That’s what He does.

"You heavens above, rain down righteousness;
let the clouds shower it down.
Let the earth open wide,
let salvation spring up,
let righteousness grow with it;
I, the LORD, have created it.”
Isaiah 45:8

What Happens???

What happens? I mean where along the path of life do so many decide that our way is better? At what juncture do we decide to toss it all out the window -- everything we have been taught, believed, and accepted as truth? When does our faith just become unimportant and a different way become better? Why is it that the world’s path is so appealing? Where is the jumping off place? Why is it that so many of us must journey so far off the narrow road before we come back to what we know to be the road that leads to life – real life?

I can honestly say that there was a very long season of my life where I thought that I needed to be a part of what was happening around me and in spite of the fact that I should have known better, all the appeals this world reached out and grabbed my attention. I made some decisions about who I was and how I was going to live based on my selfish ambitions and desires. But did I know that’s what I was doing at the time? Certainly not – not at first, anyway.

I wanted to be popular and have lots of friends who thought I was fun to be around and hang out with so I did what the fun girls did…smoked, drank too much, used foul language, stayed up late partying and slept through class, dated guys who I had no business dating, basically just lived a very selfish lifestyle to benefit me and only me. Was I having fun? I thought so at the time and I’m not so sure that if anyone had actually said anything to me about it that I would have seen the error of my ways at the time. I had really jumped in and liked where I was.

Did it turn out to be all it was cracked up to be? Did the world keep its promises to me? Did all that “fun” create permanent bonds between me and my friends? Did those friends stick around to see me through the tough times of young adulthood that followed? Were any of them there to help me quit smoking? Were any of them there when I buried my first child? Were they there to help me get my life back on track after messing up my college education and my first marriage? No – not one of them. They all moved on quite quickly when I wasn’t so much fun to be around anymore. Once the wear and tear of that lifestyle took its toll (and it always does) they were gone.

Well, actually, that’s not true. Jesus was there – He had been all along -- just waiting for me to realize that I was in desperate need of Him and that He alone was my satisfaction. Only He was there for all the repair and rebuilding. Only He held me together. He was the crutch I leaned on to hobble back onto the narrow road and continue on my journey. He has been there for me every step of the way.

Has He kept His promises to me? Every one of them! Has He provided the life and joy I was seeking? Absolutely. He’s given me way more than just Himself but really that’s all I needed and way more than I deserve. I can look back now and see with better vision what I could not see then, but I have older and wiser eyes and a Teacher who has taught me much but who is not near finished educating me.

Sometimes I get sad about that period of my life; I wish I could go back and undo many of the things I did. I wish that I had just stayed the course and not gone through all that. But the truth is if my mistakes, pains, and struggles can help keep or bring back one other person then it was all worth it. I pray for those who stray, rejoice with those who choose to return, and walk with those who never left.


****Note - this was posted on my facebook today as a note. I didn't tag anyone in it, but it was written for many I see falling into the pit I was in. Please pray that God will guide their eyes to it and use it for His purposes and His glory****